The Drinx Club
by IridescentFireflies
Summary: Bloom and Co. decide to have a party at Red Fountain. Much drinking, smoking and belly dancing follows. What happens when you add alcohol, cigarettes and pot to a bunch of seventeen year olds?
1. Tecna is a leprechaun

Disclaimer: I don't own Winx Club. If I did, next weeks episode would involve Sky being hit by a bus, and Bloom losing all her powers and living on Earth as a K-Mart employee.

So, look out for next weeks episode, "Bloom the K-Mart Employee Loses Her Dumb, Annoying Boyfriend!"

The title may be changed, I haven't decided yet.

It was a Saturday afternoon. The Winx Club were bored out of their minds.

So they did what any teenager who lives away from home does on a Saturday.

They threw a party. At Red Fountain, for some reason. Hey, don't ask me, I'm just writing this down. Why should I know why the hell they did it?

They sent out the following invitations to themselves. Hey, like I said, don't ask me what the hell goes on in those heads.

**YoU're invItEd to The WinX cLuB'S MeGa Fun pAStrY.**

**ON ThIS SATuRday At Red fOuNtaNe**

**BrIng yOuRsElf And WhAteVer.**

**BOoZE and CiGaRettES Will Be pRoVidED.**

**BYO BoOze.**

It should be noted by the reader that Stella typed up those invitations, and she's not exactly what you'd call a computer whiz. In fact, she barely knows how to turn one on.

Not that I'm insulting her. God no. Who would ever want to do such a thing?

So that night, they went to Red Fountain. The specialists were in charge of getting smokes, and the Winx Club were on booze duty.

They managed to get quite a bit of alcohol, despite the drinking age in Magix being 21.

And of course the Specialists got a lot of cigarettes. And pot, although they didn't have to go further than Helia's room to find it.

So, at 7pm that night, Stella, Musa, Tecna, Bloom, Layla and Flora arrived at the Specialist dorm.

Much drinking and smoking ensued. At about 9pm, Helia disappeared into his room for about twenty minutes, and came back with red, bloodshot eyes.

Stella got up on a table and did a very entertaining belly dance in her Winx form.

Sky, being a dirty sleaze, filmed the whole thing, and by the next morning it was all over the internet. By the next Saturday, it was out on DVD.

And, Flora, being sweet and innocent, or so Ignio Straffi would have us believe, wouldn't touch a drop of alcohol, and refused all cigarettes offered to her.

In fact, now that I think about it, she was probably against the party to start with.

Anyway, Helia, seeing Flora sitting there on her high horse, offered to get her a drink.

God only knows what was in that drink, because Flora, after finishing it, became convinced that Tecna was a leprechaun. She then drank an entire six-pack of beer in six minutes, and promptly dragged Helia into his room. Going into what happened while they were in there would take up too much time, and change this story's rating to MA.

So, while Helia and Flora were in his room screwing like rabbits, there were three- no four- Winx Club girls still unaccounted for.

So now we come to Bloom. Sweet, innocent Bloom, hated by many, murderously despised by more, liked by few.

What was she doing, you ask? Why, she was-

Crap, we seem to have run out of space.

Bloom's whereabouts will just have to remain a mystery until next week.


	2. Two Nikki Webster fans in the tub

To order a copy of this weeks episode, call 1800-THIS-IS-A-SCAM, leave your credit card details or bank PIN, and we'll send you absolutely nothing.

_Previously, on The Drinx Club……………_

_It's pitch-black on screen. We sit there for five minutes wondering what the hell is going on ._

_Suddenly a voice (that sounds suspiciously like Blooms……) yells out, "Go read the last chapter!"_

So now, the tale of Bloom can finally be told. While everyone else was partying, the Snob Princess was sitting in a hot tub. But not an ordinary hot tub either, because Brandon, who had turned to kleptomania to pay for his Red Fountain tuition, had gone to the Eraklyon palace and stolen every single hot tub there. He'd left most of them in the Red Fountain library, since the students don't have much time for books, what with all the pot and Elton John concerts.

Turning back to Bloom, she was in a hot tub Brandon had stuck in his room, AKA one of the many fine broom closets at Red Fountain. Big rooms cost big money, and Brandon's kleptomania barely covered the tuition fee.

But I overstep myself. Brandon's fate will be explored in detail next week.

So, back to Bloom, no matter how much I despise talking or writing about her.

So there she was, in the hot tub, with Brandon. They were, funnily enough, talking about Nikki Webster. It should be noted that Brandon is a huge fan of Nikki Webster. If you don't know who she is, Google her. Rest assured, you'll find out how much she sucks.

So there they were, two Nikki Webster fans, in the tub, listening to "Strawberry Kisses", a song which currently holds the number 5 spot on my "Twenty Songs That Would Make You Want To Tear Your Own Ears Off" list.

So there, my dear readers, is the mystery of Bloom's whereabouts. Now, of course, we come to Tecna.

Tecna, dear Tecna, hadn't stopped drinking, except to use the can, since she'd gotten to Red Fountain. So, naturally, by 9 PM she was blind drunk. Tecna, being from some planet in the Realm of God Knows Where, couldn't hold her alcohol very well.

At 9PM exactly Tecna decided to liven up the party. She got up on a table and started yelling random things. Sky, being a sleaze, took a photo of Tecna, wrote of what she said, and put it on the internet. It was later published as a book.

**Tecna's Speech:**

**Hello fairies, hero-men, dudes! Welcome to you and the little green guy in the corner! And let us welcome Jesus, who could, thankfully, join us tonight, along with his date, Paris Hilton! Let the schismbar be red blue greenified!**

**Hey, look, there's Hilary Duff!**

Tecna then did a very entertaining imitation of a robot, skidded on all the alcohol spilt on the table, and fell head-first into the freezer. Of course, no one bothered to rescue her, so she spent the rest of the night conversing with the frozen vegetables in Brandon and Sky's freezer.

Unfortunately, I will have to finish this chapter another time, as I have to go dig Tecna out of Sky's freezer.

Next week we discover:

-What Musa and Layla have been doing all this time

-Where the pixies are

-What happened to Riven and Sky and Timmy

-Why the hell I'm writing this

And don't miss next week's special bonus chapter: "Brandon Gets Busted!"


End file.
